Bede auf Vérité (previously unreleased)

Performed by the Trashtones

This short-lived garage band is shrouded in mystery. Even the identities of the participants are unknown. This demo tape was discovered in a dumpster in Hatch, New Mexico, and is generally thought to be the only surviving example of their unprecedented artistic achievement: combining classic German lieder with Southwestern raunch. It has been meticulously remastered to reveal the intricate subtleties of the rhythm section and the startlingly brilliant guitar solo. The vocals, especially the lovely bel canto in the adagio, are obviously the product of years of operatic training. Unfortunately, the lyrics are unintelligible. A panel of linguistic experts has studied this tape closely and arrived at the conclusion that it is sung in a forgotten Austrian sub-dialect. Still, the shimmering coloratura and majestic crescendi make this an unparalleled emotional experience that transcends the preconceptions of postmodern vernacularisms.